Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
