belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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