So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
