the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
