Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
