I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
