he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
