I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
