none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
