First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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