i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
