yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
