you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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