I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
