You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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