Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i drank out of a bidet.
It's never too late to be topless.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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