Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I have aggressive nipples.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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