Need sex. Gaining weight.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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