How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
