my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
This is my gift to your gina
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
