scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
