OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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