I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
