she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
