I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
