what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
