I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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