I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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