Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i love accidental penises.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
