i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
