i barfeds in our rink
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
