i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
