party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
