I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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