Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
