marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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