I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
