You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
