Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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