I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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