You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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