M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
