Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
