I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
