You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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