planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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