we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
