You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
