Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
