dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm passing your future prison.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
