I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
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