My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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