My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
